{"id":523,"date":"2023-05-09T03:53:17","date_gmt":"2023-05-08T22:23:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/escortsgirls.com.au\/blog\/when-couples-therapy-doesnt-work\/"},"modified":"2023-05-09T03:53:17","modified_gmt":"2023-05-08T22:23:17","slug":"when-couples-therapy-doesnt-work","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/escortsgirls.com.au\/blog\/when-couples-therapy-doesnt-work\/","title":{"rendered":"When Couples Therapy Doesn&#8217;t Work"},"content":{"rendered":"<p> [ad_1]<br \/>\n<\/p>\n<div itemprop=\"text\">\n<p>Couples therapy doesn\u2019t work. Really?\u00a0 If not, it can leave a couple hopeless about having the relationship that they wished for, expected and wanted. \u00a0Angelique called us and said she had tried couples therapy and it didn\u2019t work before; now she wanted individual therapy to see if she should leave her marriage. In the process of helping her sort through her life and her part in the marital breakdown we asked her why she thought couples therapy doesn\u2019t work. Unfortunately, here are all the pitfalls of their couples therapy that didn\u2019t work:<\/p>\n<p><strong>Side-Taking: <\/strong>\u201c<em>Ironically, the therapist took my side. It felt good in the moment to be validated for my needs for household support.\u00a0 But each time we went, I noticed my husband got quieter and quieter.\u00a0 The quieter he got, the more the therapist ramped up trying to get him to see how he was lacking in responsibility. He finally said he wouldn\u2019t go anymore.\u00a0 He said, since the therapist and me thought he was a failure, there was nothing he could do and started to agree with me that we needed to divorce<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The problem with side-taking as a couples therapist is it doesn\u2019t explore the <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"https:\/\/awakeningscenter.org\/about-us\/aboutus\/\">push-pull dynamic<\/a> and the couples emotions underneath this cycle. \u00a0Angelique\u2019s therapist never understood why her reasonable partner did not volunteer help or see what needed to be done \u2013 <em>from his perspective. <\/em>\u00a0Just telling him to help with chores beat down the same message from his wife that wasn\u2019t working.\u00a0 At Awakenings, we get underneath the dynamic.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Wrong Frequency of Sessions: <\/strong>Angelique and her husband went to 8 sessions <strong>every other week. \u00a0<\/strong>They were financially strapped and didn\u2019t feel like they could afford the recommended every week frequency.\u00a0 But by the time their session had come around, there had been so many fights, they had forgotten where they were in the process of stopping their negative cycle and their therapist seemed to drown in all their stories \u2013 just trying to referee who could complain next.<\/p>\n<p>When you start couples therapy it\u2019s important to think about this financial commitment as an annual expense, not as a weekly expense.\u00a0 Couples therapy is a relationship with an expert who needs to get a hold of what is happening in your process \u2013 the way you handle conflict by either getting angry or withdrawing; nagging or stonewalling. It really is ineffective to wait so long between sessions that you\u2019re angry again and need to dump stories about what\u2019s happened in-between.<\/p>\n<p>You need trust in the therapist and they need to feel a good alliance with you before they are making suggestions. Many, many times couples therapy doesn\u2019t work simply because of the wrong frequency of sessions. There\u2019s not enough progress fast enough and then the couple quits thinking couples therapy doesn\u2019t work. At Awakenings we highly suggest an <strong>every week<\/strong> frequency for at least the first 8 weeks.<\/p>\n<p><strong>No Mention of Sex.\u00a0 <\/strong>Couples therapy doesn\u2019t work if the couples therapist won\u2019t bring up sex.\u00a0 Our physical intimacy and our emotional intimacy are pivotal to the bond in the relationship.\u00a0\u00a0 Maybe you\u2019re reading this and thinking, \u201c<em>I\u2019d be quite happy to not talk about sex; I don\u2019t care about sex when my partner doesn\u2019t talk to me.\u201d<\/em> But does your partner care about sex?<\/p>\n<p>Sex is literally bonding because of the hormones released.\u00a0 It is the motivation for some people to give more and to forgive. It can absolutely feel like love to some people not just \u201cgetting off.\u201d\u00a0 If a couples therapist doesn\u2019t explore the sexual connection between the couple, there therapy is often vulnerable to being derailed if not immediately, then eventually. Often one person says I need connection to want sex and the other says, I need sex to feel connected.\u00a0 At Awakenings all our therapist see the emotional cycle and the sexual cycle as deeply important to the security of the partnership.<\/p>\n<p>Often couples therapy doesn\u2019t work, not because the couple is not fixable but because of mistakes a couples therapists makes, the wrong frequency of sessions that doesn\u2019t really allow it to get going or a failure on the couples therapist\u2019s part to bring up issues that are important.\u00a0 At Awakenings, our couples therapist have deep extensive training in Emotionally Focused Therapy that sees the problem as the negative push-pull; pursue-withdraw cycle between good people. They will offer their professional opinion about when to come every week and when there is enough progress that every other week might make sense.\u00a0 And they will gently guide the two of you through <a rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\" href=\"http:\/\/foreplayrst.com\">delicate conversations about sex<\/a>. \u00a0<strong>We know couples therapy works!!<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em>\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p>[ad_2]<br \/>\n<br \/><a href=\"https:\/\/awakeningscenter.org\/couples-therapy-doesnt-work\/\">Source link <\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>[ad_1] Couples therapy doesn\u2019t work. Really?\u00a0 If not, it can leave a couple hopeless about&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":524,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[58],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-523","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-sex-therapy"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v27.5 (Yoast SEO v27.7) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-premium-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>When Couples Therapy Doesn&#039;t Work - Adult Guest Blog Posting Website for Australia - Escortsgirls.com.au<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Couples therapy doesn\u2019t work. 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